I've listened to this piece a few times now. I love the introduction. It inspires a feeling that some s&%t is about to happen. The best music, from my perspective should always paint a picture in your head even without lyrics. This is accomplished in your track.
Lyrically, it's difficult for me to comment. I found it difficulty understanding them, and since they aren't posted with the track I am at a loss. However, the sound is a bit annoying and in my opinion, detracts from the music which is very good. Maybe adjusting the EQ on the vocal(s) would help. Also, again in my opinion they should be a bit more up front in the mix. I'm not saying blast them, but just allow them to be heard clearly. They are a bit more understandable in the chorus than verse. Maybe a bit more separation in the mix of the instruments would open more vocal space, but the high end is definitely an issue.
I like way you used the percussion, especially the huge sounding bass drum. It actually sounds more like timpani a bit. I think the hi-hat could benefit from a bit more of a dynamic performance. The percussion is a bit loud in the mix while the vocals are happening.
The arrangement is interesting and maintained my attention and there are some interesting sounds in the mix.
The ending is likeable; a bit bizarre, and I like that.
Overall a very creative piece. Correct the mix issues and I thing you'll have a great track.