Contact Us            Join today or login

Instrumentalist66

balajiram
thank you:)
14-Mar-2016
For the review on
Oldies by balajiram

Definitely a 50s vibe here with the instrumentation. Loved the trumpet at the beginning.

The beginning of the song I really loved and I do like the melody, but my biggest issue is that the whole song is almost 1 note. I finally got the change I was looking for almost half way through the song and then it went back to that 1 note thing. It made it really hard to listen to for the whole time. I think you need to add more change and there are loads of places in which you can do that based on the melody line. If you do that, I think that your whole song will totally change in mood, be more positive and more "spunky" which is where I'm being lead but just not quite getting.

This is a great start and almost there. If you make the changes I suggested or other ones, I'd love to hear this again. :)


60sguru
I will redo song again and enhance vocals thanks
14-Mar-2016
For the review on
never seen you smile by 60sguru

Guitar and vocals. One of my favorite things to listen to.

The song, overall, needs some work. I'd love to hear the vocals a little louder in the mix in some parts. I could definitely hear what you were saying though, which allowed me to hear the lyrics of the song. Your song structure is followed by the performance on the guitar which is a bit unconventional, but is what also makes it different - a good thing! The vocal reminds me a LOT of Bob Dylan...and I lived in Minnesota for many years and heard a ton of Dylan! Again, it makes for uniqueness and unique is always good. The story, overall, is ok. It does need some work along the lines of cohesiveness. It all needs to "flow" and there are a few things that didn't quite keep within that flow. For example; I didn't find the never see you smile of the title in the song enough for me to believe that the song was truly about the title subject. The song sounded like it was more about the singer's loss and wrongs. What Did I Do Wrong or I'm So Lonely Now would have made more sense to me. It would be easier to pick out and talk about those areas with the lyrics in hand, so I hope you'll understand what I am trying to get at when you go over your music again.

Overall, I think that this is a good demo and a wonderful start on the song. Keep working on it and it will get there!


teek
Thanks
24-Oct-2015
For the review on
Ces't Ca L'Amour by teek

I really liked how this was put together musically. I'd like to hear the vocals a little louder in the mix. I didn't hear all of the lyrics clearly, so I couldn't really follow the storyline. The main vocal has a really nice quality to it, but there seems to be a bit too much use of effect on it - reverb? When the harmonies join, they are off a little. Was that intended? I wasn't sure. Overall, the instrumentation was nice and the performance in general was really good. The ending was wonky for me as it felt like an "oh, we are supposed to end now" and the players weren't really ready for it. That is a rather easy fix, though. Overall, great start! I'd love to hear it again. :)


Death Industry Instr
thanks
24-Oct-2015
For the review on
Dysfunctional by Death Industry Instr

There are a lot of interesting things going on in this song and I think you've gotten the song instruments and lyrics fitting each other to create the type of atmosphere I believe you are going for. On the other hand, it's way too repetitious in that it seems the whole song seems to dwell on 2 notes going back and forth. Adding instrumentation isn't always enough to keep the audience interested. There needs to be a lot more change throughout. I could understand the vocals rather decently, which is normally pretty hard to do in this genre, so I give you kudos there. Most of the lyrics seemed to tell me something, but I'm not sure exactly what you are trying to say. I didn't have that explanation anywhere; there seemed to be a lot of tension but no release. Overall, I believe there is potential in the song with a little more lyric clarity and some instrumental/note changes to make it more interesting for an audience.


akkrys123
Instrumentalist; thank you so kindly for a very thorough and complete review of this song which I truly appreciate wholeheartedly and for your wonderful suggestion and professional advice.
24-Oct-2015
For the review on
Better Times Have Begun by akkrys123

This song needs work on many levels, but there are so many good things in it too. I believe that it would work better if it were more simple - just guitar and vocal and a touch of the harmonica. The vocals went brilliantly with the whole folk sound. It had Appalachian Mountains written all over it to me. Many of the phrases you used were very well written and created an image which is really what they need to do, so I know you are capable of that. The biggest issue for me was that I needed to understand that you were packing up and leaving because of hard times...or at least this is what I am lead to believe based on what is there. I'm not really sure why you are leaving, but I know that you are. These lines - "...know it's a good song and it'll take me as far as I can go it all the way." are funky in that I don't think you would normally talk to someone like that (grammatically) - it's almost as if you wanted to say it would take you as far as you can go, but then wanted to say it would take you all the way...2 separate ways of saying the same thought combined and sounds a bit confused.

Regardless, I think you've done a good job so far and with some work, I think it's a pretty good song. :)


Loyd C. Taylor, Sr.
Hello good friend. I don't think I have ever received a review more helpful, thank you for your time and honest critique. I would love to hear you sing and would be open to your edit. Thanks, Loyd
22-Oct-2015
For the review on
You Ain't Seen Nothin' Yet by Loyd C. Taylor, Sr.

Definitely a 50s style song. Right from the start I get that. Additionally, the lyrics were a complete story from beginning to the end. The instrumentation was really good too. I'd probably get that cymbal taken down just a tad though.

Vocally/lyrics - it seemed as if you struggled in some spots to fit all the words into the song. A few thoughts on that...

YOUR SONG - But then I stopped... when I heard her on the phone.

When I heard her on the phone CAN fit as written, but it needs to be changed in the way that you sing it. I wish I could sing it for you, but I think you'll figure it out when you listen to it a few times.

YOUR SONG - ...with all you mentioned, not a SINGLE thing do I regret.

You could take out the word single, it would be easier to sing and it wouldn't change what you are trying to say.

Some of the lyrics, the way they are written, are a little "wonky": ex - ...and I'm so happy that into my life he came. Since this is the last line of that phrase, it doesn't need to rhyme and could be sung more like it should be said - and I'm so happy that he came into my life.

Overall, I really do like this song and I think that you have a great start here. The story is a very positive one for a change. Most of the time it would be a story of how he came home to her cheating, but this was not that type of song. I liked that. Thank you for some good, positiveness! (Not sure that's really a word...)


Wallace
Thank you so much for a brilliantly constructive review. I learned from it and hope to do better with efforts in the future. Another problem I gave myself was setting the song a little too high for my voice - shan't do that again!
22-Oct-2015
For the review on
I Need Your Love For Ever by Wallace

First off, THANK YOU for having your lyrics written out. It's VERY helpful!! This is a great rough version...a decent working demo as I'd call it. I get the idea of the song, I hear a clear vocal and the music isn't too loud. There are definitely things that need improvement though. First off...it seems that you are really struggling to get the words into the music; there are just too many and some are the wrong context. So, as a sample suggestion:

First paragraph - maybe shorten some of the sentences and delete a few words. (I capitalized those words I thought might be good examples to delete/change...)
You walk down the street ON A Saturday Night
The tap of your heels sets the dancing beat ALright
As the band in The Palace playS
No red blooded boy can look away
THEYRE dreaming of another kind of night
IF THEY HAD THEIR WAY.

I would also take off a lot of the reverb on the vocals. I think it would make the vocal sound much better. I think the voice has a great quality to it; a richness that's getting sucked out by so much reverb. Don't hide your voice, be proud of it and let it show.

There is also a little "oops" here and there in the playing of the instruments. A little practice will take care of all of that. I know writing a song quickly for a contest is tough and stuff gets through that normally wouldn't.

Anyhow, these are just my thoughts and only given to help. Overall, I think it's a great start and with some work it's only going to get better!


Kerri Powles
Thank you very much for your review. I decided I wanted to leave the song open to personal interpretation. My thought was of a loved one having passed away, but it can mean to someone else a break up of a relationship, either way it works. Being too tied up in a specific meaning can mean that fewer people get something out of the music on a personal level. Also I don't think the title has to actually be in the lyrics, but it should give meaning to what the song is about. Hope that clarifies things a bit better for you :)
21-Oct-2015
For the review on
Now You Are Gone by Kerri Powles

Very well done. The music performance is beautiful and the vocals were spot on - in tune. The lyrics fit the feeling of the song (prosody). Lyrically, I followed the story although I'd have liked to know what got you to this point - why did he leave or when. Overall, it works and I got the visual of what you were trying to say. Title - I'm going back and forth with it. Not sure it completely fits, but at the same time, it kind of fits. I'm thinking...

Nice job!! It's a very soothing and quiet song and I enjoyed it. :)


John David Coupland
Thanks for the comments. It is always a fine balance in songwritng whether to spell everything out for the listener or to leave things a bit vague so that there could be more than one interpretation. At the back of my mind was 1st Corinthians chapter 13. Perhaps a read at that would clarify things.
21-Oct-2015
For the review on
Someone whispers by John David Coupland

Chapter 33 of the book Songs by JDC

I think I heard one of your other pieces earlier today. I hear your consistency from song to song. That's a good thing. :)

I like what you're doing here. The song structure is clearly visible. The story is making sense to me. THANK YOU for providing lyrics!!

There are a few things that I did need some clarity on. The chorus did not make a whole lot of sense to me, especially the 2nd line - Never to your feelings blind. It's probably because it's not something that I would say in real life - grammatically. I had a hard time following how the chorus actually fit with the verses. I think I know where you were headed, but it needed a little more clarity.

The instruments and performances are very good. I'd say that the whole song is a very well done demo. Keep up the great work! I'm looking forward to hearing more down the road. :)


2USband
Thank you so much for a very good review :-) This is one of our melodies that need a little more work before it is all done, but when we saw that there were a 50's contest going here at Fanmusic we just HAD to to submit it ;-)
21-Oct-2015
For the review on
Don`t Cry by 2USband

Definitely a 50s feeling going on here with the vocals. I'd love to hear the vocals be consistent in sound like they started in the beginning of the song. That rich vocal sound did come out here and there throughout, so I know the singer is capable of that real lush, richness. In other parts it got a tad nasally. When it came to lyrics, overall, I think they were ok. I'd love to know a bit more in regards to why the person is crying and the type of relationship the person crying has to the story teller. Is it a mother/daughter? Grandmother/granddaughter? It's a female voice, Grandmother/grandson? Girlfriend/boyfriend? I just need a little more development. Overall, there are a LOT of good things going on here. Keep it up!



Page: 1 Next Page


  Contact Us | Advertise With Us

© 2014 FanStory.com, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Terms under which this service is provided to you. Privacy