The lyrics clearly told the sad and tragic tale. What I believe would help the listener connect more emotionally with the song would be to tell more about Johnny as well as his mother.
Have the lyrics share something about Johnny, e.g. Johnny played with his puppy Sam in the street; he laughed till he cried when Sam stole his treats, etc. Likewise, Johnny's mother: His mother locked herself inside with all of her tears; she fell asleep with a picture of Johnny held so near.
I like the story as tragic as it is. But with some minor additions, and possibly adding a chorus this could really connect with the listener.
Very good job playing and singing this.
Comment Written 02-Oct-2017
reply by the artist on 02-Oct-2017
Thank you for your kind replay and helpful suggestions.