I loved your narrative, you are quite talented writer....but I must say thyat this not really a song it is an audio book type narrative. The difference to me is that it has no melody; it is not rap.
I think it has its place but maybe in the book section.
Just my opinion. As a songwriter all of things songwriters judge songs on like tempo, melody, music, arrangement --the only thing that can be judged here are your lyrics...but on an audio book your narration is very good.
Comment Written 27-Jul-2017
reply by the artist on 29-Jul-2017
Thanks for your comments. I appreciate you taking the time.
Hello Wallace. This was a very interesting story and story line. When you post, the software doesn't change the apostrophes, so you may need to go back and edit your words. I enjoyed your music and song, my best to you. Loyd
Comment Written 04-Sep-2015
reply by the artist on 04-Sep-2015
Thanks for that - I definitely need to check the text. Thanks for the 'heads up'.
What a wonderful project. Nice narration over music. You know- this would make a wonderful road show or a play. See if you can do a whole album with songs just like this one, and with the correct theme you might be on to something here pal. Good creative work- awesome idea!
Comment Written 23-Aug-2015
reply by the artist on 24-Aug-2015
Thanks for your appreciation - the project came from the heart
the cover art looks beautiful;the instrumentation was well played and the rhythm sounds good;I wasn't too familiar with your style of melody and it was hard for it to touch me as I couldn't feel ant emotions or feel attached with it;good luck though
Comment Written 22-Aug-2015
reply by the artist on 22-Aug-2015
Thank you for your thoughts-the words were intended to be spoken rather than sung, but not rhythmically like a Rap.
Really love the lyrics the most in this piece. The composition was cool with the drums and flute intro, love it. Then increasing and yet slow temporizing into a nice smooth reading voice. i love poetry of a musical class, but so many just don't bloody get it.. Cheers love, hope you are looking to grow, if so please stay in contact. Can I be totally honest, I love the fact that you don't let them off the hook by making this short simply because it is different. I crave difference.