Very pretty song...the memories of the past and youth and love.
You did good job on the lyrics, vocals, and music...
Parts of it sounded like an automated keyboard background but that's okay as I'm sure you had no drums, etc.
But I really like it!
Comment Written 25-Aug-2017
reply by the artist on 25-Aug-2017
Another experiment. i don't think my voice suited the song, but them I never like listening to myself.
First off, THANK YOU for having your lyrics written out. It's VERY helpful!! This is a great rough version...a decent working demo as I'd call it. I get the idea of the song, I hear a clear vocal and the music isn't too loud. There are definitely things that need improvement though. First off...it seems that you are really struggling to get the words into the music; there are just too many and some are the wrong context. So, as a sample suggestion:
First paragraph - maybe shorten some of the sentences and delete a few words. (I capitalized those words I thought might be good examples to delete/change...)
You walk down the street ON A Saturday Night
The tap of your heels sets the dancing beat ALright
As the band in The Palace playS
No red blooded boy can look away
THEYRE dreaming of another kind of night
IF THEY HAD THEIR WAY.
I would also take off a lot of the reverb on the vocals. I think it would make the vocal sound much better. I think the voice has a great quality to it; a richness that's getting sucked out by so much reverb. Don't hide your voice, be proud of it and let it show.
There is also a little "oops" here and there in the playing of the instruments. A little practice will take care of all of that. I know writing a song quickly for a contest is tough and stuff gets through that normally wouldn't.
Anyhow, these are just my thoughts and only given to help. Overall, I think it's a great start and with some work it's only going to get better!
Comment Written 21-Oct-2015
reply by the artist on 22-Oct-2015
Thank you so much for a brilliantly constructive review. I learned from it and hope to do better with efforts in the future. Another problem I gave myself was setting the song a little too high for my voice - shan't do that again!
-I could barely understand the vocals and the and the music I'm glad you wrote down the lyrics. The background music is done very well and I even like the hook for the part of the sound it makes me remember flow and rhythm to the song.
-Thank you for sharing and posting and may the good Lord be with you always.
Comment Written 14-Aug-2015
reply by the artist on 14-Aug-2015
thanks - I think I needed to get the mix a lot better
reply by akkrys123 on 14-Aug-2015
More than likely and yes it's a really good song.
Your lyrics are very good but the delivery does not sound confident nor comfortable. My advice would be sing the song a thousand times searching for that comfortable range so that you sing the song just like saying your name and address. You are close to having a masterpiece that deserves the best paint for the canvas.
Very pretty song, and lovely lyrics, however if you don't mind some constructive criticism, I thought your voice seemed rather drowned out by the music especially when the chorus came in, I found it hard to make out the words at times. Bringing the volume of the music down to compensate should help with this however. Also don't over-reach with your voice as it was showing signs of strain on the higher notes, again it might be worth considering using a lower octave. On a more positive note though it was a pretty song with lovely lyrics. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 13-Aug-2015
reply by the artist on 14-Aug-2015
Thank you for your helpful suggestions - I agree with your thoughts about the voice too.
This was a very unique song. It's like country, funk with a gospel nursery rhythm flip to it. i think it was really cool. i would have never thought of it, so therefore it's a thumbs up in my book anyhow. Especially if it's a jam and i'm jamming. Cheers mate.. Love that angelic hook and key string like breakdowns a quarter of a way in.. Well done mate