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Reviews from
Young Marilyn

Story Song (REVISED)

 7 total reviews 
Comment by
Jimi Seven

#1 Ranked Reviewer!

Nice tribute to Marilyn's memory. Liked the instruments. The lyrics were good. You sang it well, was clear and moved at a nice pace.

 Comment Written 23-Aug-2017

reply by the artist on 25-Aug-2017
    Jimi; thank you for taking your time to listen and review the song which I truly appreciate.
Comment by
Review Stars
  Rank:  19

Nice progression and the theme is very good. I was always a big Marilyn fan. The lyrics tell a nice story and are nicely written. The feel is excellent and fits the theme very well.

 Comment Written 19-Feb-2016

reply by the artist on 24-Feb-2016
    Noah; this one came out before Elton John's song about Marilyn and was done in my own studio. Thank you for visiting and reviewing and taking your precious time in doing so.
Comment by

Has good lyrics just the background music needs to be clearer not sure what instruments you are using but sounds clouded. Just so you know. Good Job otherwise.

 Comment Written 22-Mar-2015

reply by the artist on 30-Mar-2015
    Jodiann; It seems I'm having problem mixing my songs down to clarity on I had to take a class on that. Thanks for taking your time in reviewing the song I appreciate it very much.
Comment by
Music Rating
Review Stars
  Rank:  2

#2 Ranked Reviewer

the cover art looks artistically great ;you've got the skills and the talent and i believe that you've got what it takes to appeal to the general public;good luck as well

 Comment Written 26-Jan-2015

reply by the artist on 26-Jan-2015
    Franklin(n); Thank you so kindly for your well wishes in the contest and for an excellent
    review which I appreciate wholeheartedly.
Comment by

I love the lyrics, I only wish it was a bit more clearer and the instrumental wasn't so crowded. I think it would have been a bit better without that flute or synthesizer.

A good song write, you have a gift for that.


 Comment Written 25-Jan-2015

reply by the artist on 25-Jan-2015
    Thank you so much for your time and effort in granting my writing an good rating. I replaced the song if you like to listen to what I appreciate it.
Comment by
Jun Naotsuka

The best part of this song, I think, is the instrumentation. All those instruments including the vocal work together very well. There are two things that need to be improved. One is the performance of the vocal. I like how the voice sounds, but don't like how it sings. And two is to use a metronome so that all instruments are synchronized. The bass and the drums especially need to be right on the beat because they define the beat. Once these things are corrected, I think this song will be much better than average.

(After the change, this song is much better. Is it even the same song? Your singing is much better. There is still some synchronization issue between the instruments, but now it's at the level where I can overlook. This version is definitely better. Nice job! When you have the time and money to do it, you could buy a better set of equipment for recording, and your music will sound more professional quality.)

 Comment Written 25-Jan-2015

reply by the artist on 25-Jan-2015
    Jim; thank you for taking your time and effort in granting my writing a good rating. I have replaced the song if you would like to listen to it again I really appreciate it.
Comment by
Edward Schaffer

I think you captured the mood of Marilyn in your lyrics. The issues as far as balance are concerned have been mostly dealt with. The song could stand a little more tweaking, but it is better than it was before.

 Comment Written 24-Jan-2015

reply by the artist on 25-Jan-2015
    Edward; Thank you for taking your time and effort in granting my writing a good rating. If you would like to listen to the site again I changed it.

reply by Edward Schaffer on 25-Jan-2015
    I hear the improvement you made. BTW my favorite platinum blonde actress of that era was Kim Novak...

reply by the artist on 25-Jan-2015
    Kim Novak was a great actress and quite beautiful too.
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